رولا حسينات
(Rula Hessinat)
الحوار المتمدن-العدد: 7823 - 2023 / 12 / 12 - 12:22
المحور:
الادب والفن
How it would be? Her question was with many exclamation marks on her face. Actually, it is a strange thing, but it happened...and we can use what we call in our faith “division and share.”
Perhaps, because I was talking about it for the first time with a friend from Netherlands, a beautiful blonde with red cheeks and a good soul lady. When I told her a little about my marriage story, I did not feel that I was speaking to a stranger from across the seas, with a difference in belief, thought, and intellectual ideology. I felt that we were women, wherever we were, and no matter how different our tongues and culture were...we shared the same dreams, ambitions, fears, love, and sadness. In my story I told, it would not be applicable. Not only in a country with its freedom, but also in our society.
It was the same wish that I made when we were going around in a circle in our school yard, when we were in our last days in the high school. Each one of us was narrating her wish for the Knight of Dreams... When it was my turn, I answered: I want him to be in his mid-thirties, a man capable of protecting me. Many girls were surprised why in the mid-of thirties! But I answered confidently: so that I would be the only one in his heart after a difficult journey.
It was indeed a wish that came true...that was in the month of Shaban, the month before Ramadan. I was preparing for the final exams in the first semester of my third year at university, majoring in business administration... I remember it as if it were today... when I was struggling with accounting issues to achieve a balance between profit and loss, preserve assets, and calculate debts... the doorbell rang... That was after the afternoon. I was at home alone sitting in the office chair that was my father’s when I occupied it completely and removed all the cases he was studying. Guys, there was nothing more important than accounting.
My brother was in a---sleep---, and my mother and my sister, who is two years older than me, were visiting my aunt, whose residence is only two streets away from our house. At that minute, I was tempted to make myself a cup of hot milk to refresh my arteries. When the doorbell rang... I said to myself: “Oh my God, I want to buy time to finish my studying.” However, I quickly got up to finish the matter in a few minutes and return to what I had not yet completed. I wore a prayer robe, which is a complete covering for the head and body that reaches below the waist and covers the buttocks, along with a prayer skirt as well, with only my face visible. From the window I saw a plump woman in her early sixties wearing the traditional peasant dress. In the northern region, it consisted of a long black dress and a traditional hat... that gave her skin whiteness... No one could not feel the amount of simplicity and kindness on her face. Near her was a woman of medium height, plump, with white skin, wearing a dress and white hood...her features were more severe.
I went down the stairs, opened the door for them, and welcomed them most cordially. I apologized because my mother was visiting my aunt, but I will ask her to come quickly... I went to finish preparing the milk and it has now become a partnership between three people after I was preparing it for myself. I told them, “God has divided their livelihood with me, and that I will not burden myself with what I do. What I do for myself I will certainly do for my guests, and I hope with all my heart that they will be happy with that.” My friend Esther interrupted me, saying: Is it possible for you to let someone into the house without knowing him´-or-her? wren’t you afraid? I sent my thought deep down and thought...
Perhaps Esther s words were true, but I only thought about receiving them. They were guests and I had to receive them, as these are our customs and in our religion... receiving the guest and being kind to him. The truth that changed was that there were no longer many people who did not adhere to respect for religion and made it difficult for us, through betrayal. But what I did was normal. It is what I asked my children to do, but with caution. Perhaps they can receive guests if one of their older siblings is present.
I asked them: “May you introduce yourself?” They looked at each other and said, “We are your neighbors.” I said: “Strange, it seems that I don’t know well the residents of our neighborhood, but I think you are from one of the city’s villages.” The old woman laughed and said: Why? I said: The traditional dress you wear and your accent is what makes me know that, but I couldn’t figure it out. From where! She said: No, we are your neighbors. I said: Welcome, wherever you come from. I left silently and called my mother and woke up my brother... I said to my mother: I think there is someone who wants to propose to my sister, so come quickly, as you know I have final exam. It was less than ten minutes and my mother entered with my sister and welcomed the visitors. I had completely withdrawn from the scene. My meeting with them did not exceed seven minutes, but it was the beginning of a new history. Maybe it is as we say in any presentation you should focus on five points to attract investors´-or-audience in the first five minutes. That day passed without bothering me to have a chat from any kind with anyone, and I decided to go the next day to the university library to study more deeply. It was three days of hard studying. As well as it was an overcrowded semester between economics, accounting, and finance courses. Just before sunset, while I was checking the numbers, my mother slowly entered and sat down... I had never seen my mother do that before, but I did not attach any importance to the matter... except that perhaps she wanted to make sure of my absence in the study camp. She broke the silence and said: Do you remember those who visited us a few days ago? I said briefly as I completed the solution to the issue: Yes. She said: they have come to get engaged from our family. And she stopped talking. I said: This is a good thing. I hope with all my heart that the man is suitable and of good character for my sister.
She said: They want to propose to you. Processing the words my mother said was long and difficult to be understood in my brain s word processor. I said: what? She said: They loved you and the young man will come to see you tomorrow with his family. Of course, my friend Esther, in our customs and traditions, the suitor must come with his family to see the bride so that he can have his say about acceptance´-or-rejection, and she also should have her say about accepting´-or-rejecting. I said: Was his name Muhammad? She said no. His name is Barakat...I was amazed, all the dreams I had were of a young man named Muhammad...It is strange that the name Rula and Barakat come together...as two strange names. I smiled and said: I don t mind seeing him. But I have an exam now and I have to pass it. It was seven in the evening when they came, the mother and her daughter, with a tall, strong young man...with two older brothers...the guest room was full. I did not know what girls wear in such circumstances, but I decided to be very simple and wore what I wore to university...a long skirt, a wide jacket, and sports shoes. I only applied a little moisturizing cream to the skin, as I did not like to put any powder. The truth is that he sees me as I really am... I am not gorgeous and no makeup will make me that way, but I am convinced that I am reconciled with it. That the value of reason is far greater than any of the adornments that show our inability more than our strength. I remember when my sister came in and said, “Put on lipstick.” I said, “No.” I said to myself: This is a visit that bears profit and loss, so I will not bother thinking, as I have a long way to go with my studies.
The only thing I deceived him about was that I did not wear my glasses...and I used my mind and heart to decide on that young man’s matter. At that time, I was greatly influenced by a girl’s saying: The one who wants you will dive into the depths until he finds the pearl inside the oyster. The smart diver is the one who can find the pearl. Yes, it is true...although I consider myself very simple and do not have much of what girls do at university...however, I have determination and a blind desire to research, excel, and succeed in anything I want. The thing that confused me was: When should I break free and how? My sister said: The coffee is ready, leave it and serve it to the right of the guests. I entered without raising my eyes as usual. I was then able to stand firmly on my feet with the least possible losses. I said in a strong and steady voice: May God’s peace, mercy, and blessings be upon you. I made coffee and sat down. His sister asked me about my studies. I answered. It was one look I gave him. And I didn t look after that... He made everyone talk and forgot about me... I felt relieved then... I thought: the matter is over and he didn t like me even though I liked him without seeing him. He entered my heart. But I entrusted my affairs to God...let him choose what is best for me, and I am confident in his will. A month had passed since their visit to our house, and it was Laylat al-Qadr... I was walking the long road to our house, returning from university, and I was looking at the white sky... I prayed to God to reward me with someone whom he pleased with me. On the twenty-fourth day of Ramadan... my brother came to me and said: The young man who came that day wants to propose to you officially, so do you agree? I said after a long silence (while I was repeating to myself my prayer to God the day before: Was it Laylat al-Qadr? Was he really the one God chose for me?): I have no objection.
On the night of the twenty-seventh of Ramadan, we got engaged...I already loved him without seeing him, so it is enough for me that my heart and mind chose him. The question Esther asked me: Do you want it to happen to your daughter as well? I answered confidently: Yes.
#رولا_حسينات (هاشتاغ)
Rula_Hessinat#
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