Ahmed Saif Hashid: A Space Too Small for a Bird – Tales from the Depths of Suffering

Ahmed Saif Hashid: A Space Too Small for a Bird – Tales from the Depths of Suffering

Mohammed Al-Mekhlafi
A Yemeni Writer and journalist

In his book “A Space Too Small for a Bird” , prominent Yemeni parliamentarian and activist Ahmed Saif Hashid provides insight into a history that spans nearly sixty years. Through this work, he recounts his struggles and personal experiences, navigating complex challenges in his quest for a better future amidst oppression and injustice.

Hashid emphasizes his resilience against the machinery of repression, expressing his resistance to tyranny and amplifying the voices of the oppressed who endure harsh realities. He raises profound existential questions about rulers who thrive on conflict and highlights the plight of millions suffering from shortages of food, medicine, and water. His sharp criticism of oppressive leaders, who maintain power through force, reflects his own tragedies and personal experiences during the years of war that have affected countless Yemenis across various provinces.

This book is not merely a recounting of Hashid’s personal journey-;- it serves as a voice for the suffering of millions in a world fraught with conflict. It embodies his commitment to truth and justice, encouraging readers to reflect on humanitarian issues and the quest for freedom. Through his words, Hashid ignites hope in the hearts of those striving for a better tomorrow, urging them to resist injustice and confront their challenges.

Tales from the Depths of Suffering

This book is dedicated to the oppressed who have been let down by fate, as well as to those burdened by the struggles of their homeland and the intricacies of daily life. In the opening remarks, Mohammed Ali Al-Lawzi discusses the narratives crafted by Ahmed Saif Hashid, commending Hashid’s ability to engage with storytelling through evident artistry and creativity. Hashid is known for his high artistic expression, capturing a life filled with sorrow and noise, while reflecting a deep connection to the land and a strong yearning for freedom. Despite facing immense challenges, Hashid strives to overcome crises, emphasizing the human right to existence.

In his works, Hashid embodies a determined adventurer equipped with transformative tools to express his suffering. He conveys deep feelings of oppression and anxiety that reside within him. Since childhood, Hashid has endured the weight of fatigue and deprivation, prompting him to ponder profound questions about the meaning of life. His bitter experiences of poverty, illness, and the loss of loved ones have left lasting scars on his soul, which are vividly expressed in his writings.

Narratives Reflecting Life Experiences Between Pain and Longing

The book spans 689 pages and was published by the Yemeni House for Books and Heritage in Cairo, along with Khalid Ibn Al-Walid Library and its branches in Yemen, in 2024. It consists of nineteen series. In the first series, titled “Existential Questions and Cognitive Insights,” Hashid explores a world filled with pain, contemplating feelings of sadness and the existential questions that arise in everyday life. He addresses the desire to soar and break free from constraints, expressing the regrets that accompany one’s journey.

The second series, “My Mother, My Father, and My Existence,” delves into the details of his family life, starting with his mother’s marriage, moving through her experiences with various husbands, and culminating in her marriage to his father. Through this series, Hashid reflects on the disappointments he faced at birth, illuminating the emotional tensions present in his life.

In the third series, “My Father,” Hashid explores his complex relationship with his father, delving into feelings of loss and longing. He reflects on the significance of the name “Hashim” and the paradoxes he faced, sharing heartfelt messages to his father that express both love and yearning.

The fourth series, “Early Childhood,” focuses on the beginnings of Hashid’s life, highlighting the fears and thoughts of death that haunted him during his youth. He recounts a childhood filled with challenges and struggles, illustrating the ongoing battle between life and death and the profound impact of his past on his character.

In the fifth series, “A Glimpse of a Past Reality,” Hashid returns to his village and reminisces about his birthplace. He describes how his mother shaped their early emotions and discusses the family dynamics and social customs that influenced his life. He also shares stories about his ancestors from Hadhramaut, providing simple details that reflect their daily lives, including folk beliefs and the illnesses they faced.

The sixth series, “Harshness and Childhood with a Flavor of Rebellion,” addresses the cruelty and difficulties of childhood. Hashid reflects on his experiences with deprivation and hardship, sharing vivid scenes from his life as a shepherd. This series reveals his spirit of rebellion and defiance as he strives to overcome the constraints around him.

He also contemplates the concept of “God” in his childhood imagination, examining how his perceptions of divinity were shaped by his life circumstances. He discusses the theme of tyranny, highlighting its detrimental effects on individuals and communities, which reflects his deep sense of injustice and suffering.

This series also touches on childhood myths, recounting intriguing and mysterious experiences, such as “The Flood of Hamid” and stories about cats that symbolize his pain of loss. Hashid delves into feelings of anxiety and the existential questions these experiences raise, adding depth to his narratives.

Hashid continues to convey pain and disappointments, including celebrations marked by betrayal and suicide attempts that reveal his psychological struggles. He reflects on his quest for belonging, sharing scenes from street life and markets, emphasizing the struggle for survival.

In the seventh series, “The Ghosts,” Hashid explores the realm of myths and fears, discussing topics such as jinn and the phantoms that haunt him. This aspect of his writing reflects an exploration of existential anxiety, encouraging readers to confront and overcome their fears.

In the eighth series, “Primary Education,” Hashid recalls his experiences at “Al-Wahda” School, discussing childhood pranks and encounters with punishment. He expresses a sense of moving forward, illustrating how education can be a harsh challenge but also a source of hope. He describes a particularly difficult day at school, revealing the struggles of student life.

Series Summaries

The ninth series transitions to “Tor Al-Baha,” where Hashid emphasizes the importance of education in combating ignorance. He shares his experiences with leftist extremism and his expulsion from school, referencing political events that impacted his life. He also recounts his imprisonment, reflecting the social tensions he witnessed and his experiences in the classroom during middle school.

In the tenth series, “High School at the Proletariat School,” Hashid offers a comparative look at education, highlighting hunger as one of the challenges he faced. He expresses his protest against hunger and advocates for education as a means of change. He discusses his diverse readings and the intellectual transformations he experienced, noting the influence of a segregated high school on his thoughts.

The eleventh series, “Shame and Fear,” explores his feelings of shame, anxiety, and alienation, reflecting the internal struggles that shaped his personality. He discusses “hunger and shame,” illustrating how these emotions affected his life. He delves into the emotional remnants of the phobia he experienced and how his sense of injustice intertwined with feelings of anxiety. He also examines the conflict between his phobia and madness, highlighting the causes of his feelings of shame and fear.

The twelfth series takes us to “The Military College,” where Hashid describes his experiences in a strict educational environment. He discusses the difficult choice of attending the college and the challenges he faced. He reflects on the pressures of war and their impact on his academic and personal life, highlighting the punishments, fights, and violations he experienced. He concludes with pride in being the top student in his class, showcasing his strength of will.

In the thirteenth series, “Astonishment and Wonder,” Hashid recounts exciting new experiences, sharing unforgettable moments like his first flight and describing the beauty of places he visited, from Red Square to Moscow. This series includes embarrassing situations and emotional experiences, showcasing the diversity of his life.

The fourteenth series, “Success and Failure,” addresses Hashid’s journey in search of the future. He expresses his frustrations, such as his failure to write a story, reflecting the internal conflict he faces as an artist and writer. This series illustrates how failures can be part of the journey to success, expressing a constant hope for improvement and growth.

In the fifteenth series, “In the Thunder,” Hashid discusses his experience choosing a parachuting course, marking his transition from school to the camp. He addresses feelings of fear and challenge during that period and how he faced the “Wall of Death.” He talks about the prize he received, expressing a reality burdened by conflict and underdevelopment, while conveying his dream of university study as a way out.

The sixteenth series covers the events of January, where Hashid recalls memories of the prevailing tensions and divisions. He expresses his feelings as a father, questioning his identity in difficult circumstances. The series includes painful moments like “Cookies and Shells,” reflecting the contrast between ordinary life and the harsh reality of war. His narratives reveal how he discovered truths about himself and the world around him, expressing a triumph of conscience despite chaos.

In the seventeenth series, “Law School,” Hashid discusses his academic experiences. He portrays characters like Professor Hamid and notes some paradoxes and marginalities he encountered during his studies. He discusses topics such as “Rickets” and research methodologies, expressing the impact of ideology on education and knowledge.

In the eighteenth series, “Family Law in the South,” Hashid addresses complex legal issues related to family, expressing his views on prevailing laws and their effects on people. He illustrates how the judicial system can sometimes wear the cloak of “PhD” yet lack justice.

This series also touches on love and admiration, where he recalls his first love in Aden, expressing hope shattered by war. He speaks of “Noor” from Lahij, indicating disappointment in love and lost justice. Hashid conveys feelings of concealment and confusion in romantic relationships, noting how unfulfilled love can feel like a lost cause.

The narrative continues with shocking moments, as he sometimes receives news with laughter, reflecting life’s contradictions. He shares stories with “Haifa,” expressing feelings of lost hope and repeated disappointments after years. He also addresses experiences related to engagement and marriage, highlighting moments of joy and pain.

The character of “Umm Sharif” appears in his relationships, where he expresses a desire for reassurance. He highlights the complexities of relationships, from engagement to marriage, reflecting his contradictions in love and life.

The nineteenth series, “Miscellaneous from Aden,” covers a range of topics reflecting daily life in the city. He discusses scenes from life in Khormaksar, the Qat district, and Dar Saad, referencing neighborhoods that hold his memories and experiences.

The narrative extends to details about Bureika, Al-Gha-dir-, and Al-Masafi, as well as Mount Shamshan and the water tanks of Aden, where Hashid reflects on the city’s beauty and rich history. He speaks about the culture and society in Aden, highlighting the changes it has undergone and the resulting cultural responses

Some Quotes

Quote One

“My father was a leather tanner for many years of his life. It is a profession looked down upon by some as an extension of leather processing. A profession despised by those who are empty and arrogant, who live off plunder and corruption, and cannot understand that work, as long as it is legitimate, is a social value and a great honor-;- for its owner eats from his own sweat and toil.

My father worked at Al-Bas Company in Aden, tanning leather, a craft to which he devoted the most important part of his youth. Working in leather tanning has health risks, but it seems my father, when he joined this company, preferred the opportunity of work over unemployment, adhering to the saying, ‘Better the dust of work than the saffron of unemployment.

Due to the salt, leather, and chemicals used, my father suffered from shortness of breath and nightly coughing, which accompanied him until the end of his life.” (p. 45)

This quote highlights a profound human experience that embodies the struggle between dignity and societal contempt for certain professions. It illustrates how society often evaluates individuals based on their work, neglecting the stories and experiences each profession carries. It emphasizes that work represents honor and social value, stemming from the worker’s effort. This image reflects the pride anyone earning a living through hard work should feel, far from theft and corruption.

When Hashid discusses his father’s experience at Al-Bas in Aden, he highlights another aspect: sacrifice. His father chose to work despite potential health risks, preferring to contribute to a productive society rather than slip into unemployment. This embodies the saying, ‘Better the dust of work than the saffron of unemployment,’ reflecting the value of hard work even in harsh circumstances.

However, the text also carries sadness-;- the health issues his father suffered due to workplace chemicals underscore the cost of this choice. The shortness of breath and nightly coughing he endured until his last days express the pain defining the lives of many workers who sacrifice for a living.

Quote Two

“Thus, the employee finds himself crushed to the point of annihilation, robbed to the point of death, stripped of everything, deprived of the salary he earns for his work, and once again deprived of the pension he hoped to rely on in his weakness and old age, to live on for the rest of his life after spending much of that life serving the nation, having reached one of life’s ends.

It is a double execution in its implementation: working without a salary, and years of service wasted, culminating in a tragic, painful end that the afflicted employee lives under a power whose legitimacy is nothing but force and pretense.

Such a double execution only occurs under a dominant authority that is aggressive in nature, strong in character, and brutal in action, completely devoid of all that is human, lacking any sense of responsibility toward its people, and ignorant of the basics and fundamentals of citizens’ rights.

Thus, the employee finds himself working and hoping, only to end up in vain… planting without reaping.” (p. 63)

In this quote, Hashid sheds light on the suffering of an employee enduring the injustices of authority and the absence of justice, expressing despair and frustration. He portrays the employee as a shattered being, crushed under the weight of neglect and the denial of rights. This situation embodies a life filled with suffering, as the employee is deprived of the salary intended to compensate him for his efforts, as well as the pension that was supposed to secure his future.

The tragedy of the employee shows him as stripped of everything, deprived of basic rights. This reflects what can be called a double execution, where the employee is forced to work without pay while also being denied the fruits of years of dedicated service. This accumulation of injustice leads to a tragic end, reducing dedication to a harsh experience illustrating how authority can be cruel. This image reflects a bitter reality needing radical change and a reevaluation of work values and social justice.

Between Realistic Narrative and Philosophical Reflection

Ahmed Saif Hashid is characterized by a deep and fluid linguistic style, using simple yet expressive language that effectively conveys complex emotions and personal experiences. He blends realistic narrative with philosophical reflection, allowing readers to engage emotionally with the texts. His style reflects the influence of his surrounding environment, using expressions common in his community, adding an authentic local flavor to his writings.

His psychological state is evident in his writings, reflecting feelings of anxiety, fear, and hope. He explores internal conflicts, enabling readers to feel his suffering and experience deeply. His texts include a sense of nostalgia for the past and a strong desire to understand himself and the reality around him. He shows an ability to reflect on his feelings, fostering a human connection with readers.

His writings are significantly influenced by the environment he grew up in, filled with social and political challenges. They reflect the details of daily life in Aden, including customs, traditions, and crises, along with hope for change. His writings address important issues related to identity, belonging, and society, making them a realistic representation of contemporary reality.

An Analysis of the Title

The title of the book, “A Space Too Small for a Bird,” conveys a profound human experience, referring to the constraints of life and the difficulty of freeing oneself from surrounding circumstances. The narrow space symbolizes the challenges the author faces, rendering the bird, representing the desire for freedom and flight, incapable of soaring.

The autobiographies and passionate narratives in the book highlight feelings of anxiety and pain, addressing the details of daily life and personal experiences that shaped the author’s identity. The title illustrates how one can feel isolated even in an eventful environment, reflecting a constant struggle for understanding and belonging.

In conclusion, Ahmed Saif Hashid’s experience reflects a deep human journey in confronting daily challenges and struggles. Through his profound literary style, Hashid highlights the human dimensions of suffering and hope, expressing the voice of the oppressed and marginalized. The title “A Space Too Small for a Bird” embodies the constraints that hinder freedom, emphasizing the importance of the struggle for justice and liberty.

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